Thursday, July 4, 2013

High Anxiety

Whether we want to admit it or not, sage smells sour in a rotten garden. Her thoughts are not clouded by what she thinks but it is the thoughts themselves that plague her. It brings her pain to contemplate and suffering to forget. There is no way out of her brain trap. She bangs on the glass inside her head as a tear falls down her cheek. She is blessed with so many problems and cursed with all her privileges.

"Why does her heart grow tired of all the worrying?", The small girl asks the reverend.
He responds by telling her that she has not confessed "those sins all pent up inside". The girl nods and looks one last time at the beautiful girl with the saddened eyes.

It is far worse when the heart breaks over time than all at once. It continues to bring us unhappiness when instead the moment of bliss shatters in one single moment. For many, the heart shall continue to beat, but to others it's just too much to fight. I'm often burdened by the thought that I will never stop suffering. I struggle with the concept that there will be more pain to come. the future holds no prospect of happiness, but instead a dark cloud of worry.

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