My Monsters

I can only justify what I know,
Only cry from what I feel
Leave me alone monsters,
I wish this wasn't real.

I feel as though I bring them on myself,
Inviting them one by one.

Maybe I'm too emotional,
Too susceptible; too full of feel.

I rarely get the courage, the confidence,
The push I need to fight, but when I do,
I'm still weak, crumbling at the knees.

I pick up a sword too big, too massive for me to hold,
I wish this would all get easier, and I could just be bold.

Leave me alone monsters, I don't want anymore pain,
My heart has become too weak for it, and my mind has gone insane.

You follow me everywhere even to my home,
I try to leave you at the doorstep,
But you say you feel alone.

I'm tired of all this anger, this bitter suicide,
All built up inside of me, pushing me from side to side.

Maybe I should ask God to take you all away,
Tell him I'm sorry, and pray and pray and pray.

Perhaps then he will help me to see,
See the light of day.