Sunday, May 16, 2010

The story of a Joker

Everyone I know seems to fuse into one person. My friends, colleagues, acquaintances all have one head, one face, one mind. I wish all this was some hippy allusion or drugged ecstasy, but I am completely sober. I have overdosed on anxiety, and there are no hefty orderlies to pick me up by my armpits, while I thrash and kick. I felt many times that I need to be committed. All it takes is one bad day reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. It's a quote that I strongly believe. Today I lived it. I had a twisted epiphany which brought me to insanity. I don't cry or shed a tear, but instead clench my fists in a rage of ecstasy. It hasn't made me bitter, nor has it made me depressed. Oh depression is long gone; I have already committed suicide and I'm living proof. I can't deny pain, but only transform it, like the stages of a butterfly. I have no attachments, I am free from condescending, superficial and circumstantial friendships. I mean who would want to be friends with a lunatic? I wouldn't.

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